Step is correct. Putting their commitment on the same level as converting to a religion, is wrong on so many levels. For the simple reason, as Steph said, he would be living a lie just to be appease her family and – I’m sorry to say – her Guinea pig santa christmas tree t-shirt, while she would live the truth by telling them that she loves him just the way he is. Don’t put the two issue on the same level because they aren’t equal at all. He didn’t ask her to lie and convert to a religion she doesn’t believe in that I saw, seems really different to me.
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She isn’t concerned about god or faith, she wants her family to not be xenophobes but is willing to appease their prejudice by asking him to lie to make them happy. It would also mean that he would then have to live a lie, as well. Just telling everyone he was a Muslim doesn’t sound like it would really be enough to appease her family at the end of the day. If all she wanted was just to tell people he was a Muslim, she could do that without him having to convert. But it sounds like she knows it would require much more than that. Don’t want to talk about how the truly selfish people are her family.
It’s selfish to think that he can change his religion. It’s also selfish think that she could hide the relationship. But the most selfish act of all is walking away from a family member because you do not share believes. He is not asking her to give up her belief, he is asking her to ignore her family’s wishes. Not the same. As an atheist, I can tell you that I’d not expect her Guinea pig santa christmas tree t-shirt to change, and would probably fake religion in his place. But if he is also a believer.
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That’s a big deal. It’s not the same thing. She’s not being forced to stop being Muslim. So she’s only concerned her family won’t approve. Then she’s asking him to convert to a religion that has no cultural relevance to him to appease people who would cut her off if he didn’t. I would never take up another religion to stay in a relationship. 18 years of bullshit was enough for me. If one knows there family has such views its a Guinea pig santa christmas tree t-shirt when you date outside of their norms.
I know people who avoid such relationships because of that. She set herself up to deal with a hard situation. May it end well, but he shouldn’t be forced or guilted into Converting. She doesn’t say that he’s asking her to convert. The assumption is that he accepts her as she is. But she is asking him to convert to a faith that he doesn’t embrace simply to appease her family. The ostracism she may face is not his fault nor should he have to bend to the will of her strict family.